Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Childrens drawings

Lets start this blog off with something i hate very much. Children's drawings. I love when i walk into someones house and I'm off to grab a drink from the fridge and I'm forced to stare at these monstrosities. Please, don't ever put your childs shitwork on the fridge, or anywhere in your house other than the box under your bed that also hides your gay porn.

#1 - "Dad After the Bar"

I'm pretty sure this is a common household scene in this child's "humble" abode. Little Ryan is sound asleep dreaming of dinosaurs and gumballs when all of the sudden daddy bursts into the room wearing the hood of a nun and a pair of jeans on his head. Not only is daddy dressed very much like a pirate, he has even adorned little Ryan's favorite hamster on his shoulder while holding his mother's favorite dildo. I'm sure that's not an eye patch either, that's the black eye mommy gave him after he beat her for "leaving the hall light on". Ryan, we're very glad you've given us a glimpse of home life for you, and look on the bright side, you'll shit much easier after a few nights with that dildo.

#2 - "the show"

This one is aptly named, for you see, these two young....things, be they boys or girls have just created a stand alone rocket dildo in their basement! The color coordination is quite impressive i might add, and the way they're shaped is almost erotic. They are holding hands in a loving embrace, just showing how happy they are to have made it this far! Now that the small fart box plug is in firm place the human on the left has put it's headset on, so he can give a play-by-play of the sweet action we're about to witness, and we know for sure it's going to get hot in there with all those lights so they placed some fans in the corners of the room so they dont get too hot! This was obviously a very important life event for the artist here, and i'm going to guess that those smiles turned to frowns shortly after.

Haters gonna hate

I hate people, and honestly,  i hate a lot of things. This blog is going to help me vent my anger and frustration at the world without hurting anyone.......physically.